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To some domestic violence survivors, myself included, the emotional and psychological abuse is the worst. Marks from physical abuse usually fade, but emotional scarring is hard to deal with, come to terms with, and get over. It's the emotional abuse that makes it harder to move on. Even now when a man tells me that I am beautiful or makes me feel like I am worth something, my first reaction is to inwardly scoff and wonder what he wants.
Emotional Abuse Includes the Following:
hurting another persons feelings by saying cruel unfair things to you or by name calling
cursing, swearing, and/or screaming at you
repeated harassment, degradation, or interrogation
attacks on self esteem or insults to your person (name calling, put downs, ridicule)
attacks and/or insults about people you care for, family and friends
threatening to harm you at work or harm your family
controlling and/or limiting your behavior (e.g.: keeping you from using the phone or seeing friends, not letting you leave the room or the house, following you and monitoring or limiting your phone conversations, checking the mileage on your car, taking your car or house keys, or keeping you from reading material, ideas, activities and places that he does not like)
keeping you from or interrupting you while eating
forcing you to stay awake or to get up from sleep
blaming you for everything that goes wrong
forcing you to do degrading things (ie, making you kneel, making you beg for money)
using the difference in physical size to intimidate you
criticizing your thoughts, feelings, opinions, beliefs, and actions
treating you like a servant or 'underling' in household chores and decisions
being extremely jealous, constantly accusing you of flirting or cheating
spitting at or near you
using money to control you (e.g.: taking money from you, giving you an allowance, controlling how extra money is spent, forcing you to ask for and account for any money you get, and acting like the work you do at home is of no economic value to the family)
telling you that you are 'sick' and need therapy
using physical disabilities against you or putting you down for your disability
